Men: What To Wear: June 2012

Blazers are not just for Olympians, posh-school kids and pricks who drink Pimms.

No.

I am here to tell you that blazers, like someone else doing your washing, works for every man. The next time you’re at that sort of gathering, where there's no TV on and you’re expected to drink your beer out of a glass or some shit, look around the room for the dude in the blazer. However, this time don’t hurl a prawn-tail as you mouth ‘wanker’ at him. No, this time I want you to acknowledge the ‘power of the blazer’. Whilst you’re preoccupied with perfecting your seafood refuse throwing technique, he is exuding some irresistible magnetism to all the ladies in the room. Two Chardy’s later, those drunken lushes will fall victim to the blazer.

‘Why(?!)’: you’re thinking, when this dude is clearly a big girly-twat, does he have the chick-pull of man who embodies a shoe-sale and a pack of Tim-Tams all in one?

Well, two reasons:

It’s because the blazer looks like you ‘give a shit’ without looking like you’re Karl fucking Lagerfield. And this holds appeal for the ladies, because to be quite frank, we’re sick of putting in the mileage to look rocking-hot when your version of ‘making an effort’ is applying deodorant...maybe an added spray down the pants if you’re really wanting to impress. So, if you thought ‘smart-casual’ was more elusive that the female orgasm, then a blazer will make you look relaxed, but neat (won’t help you locate the clitoris though).
Blazers are actually really flattering. That is, if you wear them as they should be worn; slim, following the natural line of your body. If it fits well then it can create broad shoulders and a slim waist i.e. bringing you that much closer to almost looking ‘masculine’.

Really; the key to looking good in a blazer is the fit. So you don’t want to look like you’re wearing a blazer that once belonged to a Harlem Globetrotter, you need to make sure the blazer is quite a tailored slim fit.

The back should lay flat; the torso should taper inward to define your midsection, and the shoulders should end where your shoulders end. Length-wise; an easy rule of thumb is to get the blazer to barely cover your ass, no matter how good it is.

Ok, some greasy-sweet blazers (below). Remember: 'don't underestimate the power of the blazer..' (I choose to put on a Darth Vader voice when I say this, however, the choice is yours alone...).