YOU (reader): ‘Bloody hell, Cass. What’s there to learn? I know jeans….
What more is there to know you pedantic little fashion-witch?!’
ME (wise and worldly fashion blogger; responds):‘There’s loads to learn, you fecking half-wit! You are the personification of a fashion faux pas, so shut your whiny trap and read!
Ok, now, don’t you worry your lovely little blokey-head about it; I am not necessarily going to be pushing the skinny jeans on you. I will be the first to admit; like chat up lines and prune juice…they don’t work for everyone.
However, they have prompted a ‘slim-line’ style-directive over the last few jeans that cannot be ignored and does in fact present quite a flattering/cool look. I know like Sylvester Stalone’s ‘The Expendables’ you really want to pretend skinny jeans never happened, however, they did and you can’t bury your head in your pile of faded, baggy denim and think the skinny jeans will just pass like a bad hangover and you wont have to deal with them.
Slim-cut denim is going to be loitering around for a little while yet and in the meantime you look like an apathetic and/or clueless dag with short/stout limbs in your baggy, shapeless denim. This will not do! Not on my watch…
Nevertheless, your panic is all for nothing because what I am suggesting is in fact SLIM jeans not skinny. Now this isn’t just some calculated word play I’m employing in some sick ploy to make you look ridiculous (I’m on your side…you poor dense creature); there IS a difference between slim and skinny jeans.
Slim-fit jeans are a straight-legged design that tapers slightly at the ankle and are incredibly flattering (elongating) and not at all a case of denim being used as a type of sinister tourniquet. No, the ‘slim’ jeans are not at all a denim-based torture device but more of a tailored trouser approach.
The slim jeans should sit neat (and comfortably) on the (upper) hip and have a stream-lined aesthetic running down the leg rather than a sloppy bunching of loose denim. The slim jeans shouldn’t be so tight (a la the skinny jean), that you are developing meralgia paresthetica and/or your sperm are being smothered to death like your gonads have been dropped on the floor of a German techno dance festival.
The point is that these jeans should be neither tight (restrictive) nor hang loose on your hips making an unnecessary feature of your undies.
|Great length ie gathering around the ankle.|
The colour looks great particularly with
the black shirt.
The length of the jeans is another thing that needs to be carefully considered. The slim-tapered jeans should end just BELOW the ankle area i.e. you should not be channelling an Olivier Twist waif.
If in doubt, longer is better than shorter in my opinion and it is ok to have some gathering against the shoe.
I understand if you’re not quite ready for this big step into the world of giving a shit….
Click on descriptions to go to the ASOS site.
|Jack Jones Tim Original Slim Vintage Wash Jeans|
Please; email me email@example.com
or post a question/comment on this or the Men: What To Wear Face Stalk page.
Next blog: The cardigan. Not just for 80 year olds….